Full Circle

"You either die a hero or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain."-- Harvey Dent in The Dark Knight movie

I had an epiphany the other day in the grocery store. I was looking at a can of Full Circle brand green beans and thought, "Hey, that's me, I'm going to go full circle." I talked with some people I know about this impression and they too think people are going to will it and that I will be able to go full circle in the future.  I am now feeling more hopeful than ever.  

I got some very good reasons for this pretentious full circle idea I'm thinking now. First and foremost is the fact that the ruse is up!  Yeah, the bait has been taken, the lure has hooked, ..........and I'm no longer needed as a male gigolo in society anymore. (ha, ha, ha)  Like planned, Ariel came to my rescue when I was a helpless, stranded, wandering hobo, -- I'm now assimilated back into society.  I think it is safe to say that most people in their right minds today know their worst and most recent fears of technological anarchy and enslavement are only imaginary stuff of the movies for the good.  My star movie role as some electrified cyborg slave of the future is no longer warranted.   

Second, the movie Twelve Years a Slave, which came out in 2013, has been quite a revelator, and was not only about Sophie NorCal but about me as well. I hope like Solomon Northup in the movie, and Sophie NorCal, that I'll be able to get another chance at my freedom. 

No mistake of mine should be so permanent as to keep me in mental health slavery indefinitely. No cult-like group like the mental health system should be so powerful and persuasive. It probably still remains to be proven by me, but I just want to say I survived that school of hard knocks and am a much stronger person now. But I must say, it was a never-ending nightmare when I was going through it. 

Third, I think sufficient time has elapsed, that people have gained strength, and that we can force it now. It has now almost been that magic "twelve years" since getting taken into the mental hospital. You know, Sophie NorCal and Solomon Northrup were all released after twelve years had passed.

Fourth, I have learned my lesson. And I mean damn, I have learned my lesson. Whoever thinks institutions in society are overkill and redundant knows what they are talking about. I seriously feel like the mental health system here in Utah has been trying to treat me to death.

Fifth, I am a much more humble person now. I no longer think I'm John Wayne or God's gift to women. I have been punished with isolation these last few years for my pride and think I have thoroughly learned my lesson with that. 

Evil and maligning people have been playing me out, cutting off all avenues socially and exacerbating my single conundrum to an extreme-- so marriage is the one thing in my life that isn't in order right now. I do realize I am not getting any younger and am a single anomaly at 44 years old! 

All I can say is I am not going to get depressed or strung out about this problem and feel like I can't take on anything else until it is resolved- I got better things to do than worry. I'm going to marry for love and make the right decision on marriage regardless of how long it takes. I know I'm not a statistic, I'm not defective or handicapped, and that the future is wide open.

I'm learning that maybe the key to a good relationship is to not stress the day out by being some cowboy kid and thereby need a woman-- because when you don't need a woman anymore, you will then find one (ha, ha, ha).  And seriously, don't worry too much about this problem because I think I have actually finally found a woman. Her name is Lafawndah and she is a mail-order bride from the Orient. (ha, ha, ha) 

Sixth, I'm sick of needles. I have had to drop my drawers and expose my fanny to so many shot nurses I can't even count them all.  But I swear, if I get booty juiced one more time I'm going to kill someone! You can just call me a walking pin cushion of the mental health system now because that's mostly what they have been doing to me since 2011. No seriously, on a scary note, I actually got a blood clot in my right arm from all the shots they were giving me and could have died from an aneurysm.

Seventh, continuous progression has to be possible. I have heard from a prophet's mouth that the mental health system is not going to be done away with any time soon (dang it, I seriously thought it would be, we have put so much pressure on them!). So in other words, the system is not going anywhere and therefore has to adjust, flex, change, and spit out what it can't digest. It is such a corrupt and depressing system many people get trapped in it and never recover. 

I told myself I was going to progress and not be a victim to the mental health system. I have always felt like I was the exception to the rule and that I could do things my way. But we will see if all the monkeys will let go of their plastic banana and leave the monkey trap. If I have learned anything from all this, it is that we may very well have to force them to let go of their prize. 

Eighth, we deserve the rest. With the exception of this most recent incident with my son, mental health people have been answering to me, not the other way around. We have done much to right the Utah mental health system these last eleven years and the repercussions have been felt in many other places. Man, I swear I have the best people helping me.

Ninth, going full circle is not a new thing for me really, I have gone full circle in a lot of things already. I have gone from a troublesome, rowdy kid to something less selfish. I have gone from a prejudiced and judgemental person to something fairer. From materialistic to liberal and content. From actively religious to something more moderate. Naive and undiscerning to discerning. Unteachable to more studious. Angry and rebellious to something more peaceable. Impure to more pure. 

Tenth, I don't care. I don't care what anyone says, I am going to heal from all this and move on with my life. I may have been weak in some areas at the beginning of all this but I have learned to cope with some very hard things now. I can't be kept in this condemned box forever-- God won't permit it in America, the land of the free. Like the New Hampshire state license plate motto says, I am going to "Live free or die." 

Eleventh, perhaps I can't marry with this mental health stigma hanging over me. It is a red flag to women, a sign of weakness, and an eye sore I can't cover up. Can you imagine being married and having to tell your wife you can't go with her to your daughter's soccer game because you have to meet with your psychiatrist? Daddy, why do the doctors give you shots? Umm.....

No, but really, I know it can be nerve-racking for women to buy a car straight from the used car lot. Most people can't tolerate that kind of subjectivity and ambiguity.  Only the discerning win in the car business today, but just for the record, I have to say that all used cars aren't lemons and that a person can do very well for himself buying used. If you ask me, I think it's crazy to pay a full sticker price. 

Well, it has been a long and yes, circuitous journey since stumbling into the mental health system eleven years ago. I have learned many things from it but I can't really say my experience in the system has been a blessing. It has been a long and seemingly irreversible stumble and life is much better at the lake. Yeah. 

Now that I have been force-taught all the dark things in life I think I may have the understanding I need-- but what I would really like to have is the freedom and privacy I once had before this mess happened to me. Yeah, I am now totally trackable, 100 percent on the grid, and sadly, more cyborg than human. I have so much metal in me now that I ought to go cash in at the local metal recycler. (ha, ha, ha) 

Maybe I'm just short-sighted and biased, but I really don't see how all the technological infringements on my freedom are necessary now-- for my personal welfare or anyone else's for that matter. I mean who's it gonna hurt to let some poor, lonely, crazy, cowboy with an imaginary girlfriend go free. Time will tell if the honest and good will live free and unfettered in this country. I really hope it won't be too much longer for me.

If I can't go live now and I suspect the answer is no on that now, can I please have one small victory? Please get this damn contraption out of my nose. I tired of looking like the Avatar people! Thank you.

Well, I would really appreciate any support I can get in this full-circle crusade I'm on now. It may not take as much effort as you think to pull this all off-- they shouldn't be able to stop us from this, they shouldn't be able to stop the feeling in society. 

Remember, we are being hindered by a very small minority of ill people in the world. Do you know what happens to ill minorities in society? They get oppressed! (ha, ha, ha)  I just hope you all are well. Take care (and yes, you all really do do that!, thank you) and I will talk to you later.

Long Live the Queen!

Has anyone studied England in the Victorian era (1837-1901), i.e. during the reign of Queen Victoria? That era was an extremely good era of history and fascinates me immensely. When I read about it I see a lot of similarities to our current era and the progress we are making now. The peace, progress and prosperity in Victorian era England lasted over 65 years though, so we still have a long ways to go to match their era. 

But seriously, Victorian England really was a great place and time to live in. Society in that era progressed forward by leaps and bounds. Everything from sanitation, to medicine, to metalwork and machinery, to manufacturing, to women's rights, to banking, to child labor laws, to literacy rates, to moral standards, to printing presses and free speech, to housing, to art, to botany and gardening, to world trade and shipping, to religious fervor, to non-religious fervor (i.e. agnosticism and Darwinism), to wage increases for the working classes, to increased leisure time and reduced number of hours worked each week, to culture, to fertility rates, to child mortality rates, to crime rates and more, improved during this era. In sum, Victorian England became the world's most powerful and urbanized country in its time, much social change occurred during this era, and the people there became very, very, very rich. 

The Victorian Secret

I have been asking historians of this era about it to see if they can tell me the "Victorian secret" and why this society flourished so much  (And no, I'm not talking about lingerie, ha, ha, ha). Eduardo Malanesa tells me the secret to the era was their focus on child exploitation and reforming social conditions and educational opportunities for children. 

According to Wikipedia at the beginning of the Victorian period (1837) only 20 percent of children in London had any education. From the enactment of the 1833 Factory Act onwards though, attempts were made to get child laborers into part-time education. By 1850 over half the children were receiving schooling. By 1890 all British families were compelled to send their kids to school instead of work. This reform was met with much protest from the capitalists and poor working class families but apparently the reformers prevailed and education for children became the norm. 

Another secret I have learned about the era is that men were very active in ridding society of the trash. This indeed, was a vey fine era to live in. Morality standards were kept high and cockroaches didn't last long in Victorian England. Secret combinations and murderers were also rooted out and imprisoned. Wars were kept to a minimum despite England's rapid expansion into Africa. During the Victorian era slavery in Africa was completely abolished in English colonies so you could say the "wherewolves" of that day were also put in check. 

Before the Victorian era, England had a practice of sending convicts and "undesirables" i.e. so called lunatics, to uninhabited Australia to live. That practice ended during Queen Victoria's reign. Capital punishment was diminished in England's penal system and attempts were made to reeducated and reform convicts. People with mental illnesses were treated more humanely. 

Moral standards also improved during this era and some argue this was the catalyst for all the reform. Whether moral standards improved from religious voices or non-religious voices is unclear. Regardless, pedophilia, homosexuality and slavery were all outlawed during this era.

Our Society in Comparison and What We Can Improve

A. Education

It is said the measure of society is how it treats its weakest members. Today children are not usually forced to work long hours for marginal pay. Are we adequately improving children's educational futures though?  Many would argue we are not. 

Education today has become very, very very fun, is a circus and paper chase for many, and a financial con. We promise youth who go to college good jobs if they pay their dues and get an education-- only to reward them with financial enslavement when they are done. Some kids, often depending on their family situation and friends, are advised not to go to school now days. They sidestep the financial trap with education but still suffer from reduced social interaction, isolation, horrible work opportunities, a very deceptive, uninspiring and uninformative internet, high transportation and housing costs and rampant sexual abuse.

Personally, I was one of the educationally oppressed kids in college. I at first wanted to be a doctor. I was weeded out of my premed classes though by professors who secretly took bribes from my family and who gave me B, C and D grades instead of the A and B grades I was really earning. In this sense, college was a complete con and rip off for me. It was an expense I largely paid for myself.  

I was so indoctrinated that college was the way to advance oneself in life though, I continued studying into grad school. With my legal education I misjudged the actual work opportunities available, couldn't find work, fell into debt, and have been paying a pound of flesh to the mental health authorities for going on twelve years now. I don't think these people will ever forgive me for my financial mistake. Today I am looking at the depressing realities of continued mental health oversight, continued restriction from work and continued relegation to welfare for the rest of my life.  

You would think I would want children now days to have similar educational frustrations, i.e. for them to be held back and not pass me up. That however, is not how I feel. Again, I think education today is way too fun and needs to be reformed.  People who feed into the con, whether in the school system or with online material, need to be done. Our children's futures are jeopardized by these morbid people. 

So in other words, in terms of education I think we are falling way short of Victorian standards. Generation Y and Z are on their knees now and mass consuming uninspiring, educational garbage and half-truths online. I will admit that Millennials who went to school got what they deserved via education, but the system now needs to be better adjusted for Generation Y and Z. Let it be said that under Generation X's power, kids once again had better work and educational opportunities than earlier generations. Let it be said that society was no longer in decline under Generation X.

B. The Zip

In terms of the overall zip however, I think we are doing even better than the Victorian era. We have been gladly mass zipping it up for years now and there doesn't appear to be any let up in sight. The advancing Millennial problem and overall degeneracy of our society in the late 2000s was far worse than Victorian times. Men have to be thanked for responding to the call then; the problem was enormous but has been effectively reduced by hard working and resourceful individuals from both Generation X and our parent's generation (Sorry, I'm not sure what you call our parent's generation officially, but I wont call them Generation Jones for now as I think they are improving and don't fully deserve that jab).

C. Criminal Justice and Treatment

Criminal justice now days is far worse than in Victorian times. What we have today is a totally corrupt and unresponsive justice system that is arbitrary and capricious to say the least. People rot in prison or jail for the most petty offenses, or no offenses at all. Inmates are treated like pawns and many good inmates are coerced into doing dangerous work for sheer relief from it. Our lawyers are no longer trained in sound legal doctrine. They skip their studies and buy their way into the profession. For the most part, law professionals do what is convenient and profitable for them not what is honest and right. Due process and Miranda rights in our legal system are a thing of the past and reliance on precedental law has gone out the window. The justice system is a unjust, unpredictable mess that intentionally makes no sense to common people. It works on bribes and politics and treats the poor, disadvantaged and unjustly framed like cattle. 

Treatment today is also psychologically more sinister and financially more oppressive than in Victorian times. Unlike in Victorian times, patients with a mental health record today are prohibited from owning guns even though they are the ones most often attacked and who need them the most. Background checks checking for mental health records are required for every gun purchase. 

With regard to incarceration of mental health patients now, due process is virtually nonexistent. The justice system is totally complicit with it. Mental health patients are almost always locked up for indefinite periods of time. 

Mental health patients also get economically blackmailed by the mental health system today. They are threatened with further mental health incarceration if they work more than a few hours a week. Their shots are exorbitantly priced at thousands of dollars a piece and they are forced to pay for these shots if they earn over the poverty limits or in other words, get "dropped" from Medicare. For this reason I know of no mental health patient that lives above poverty levels.

Employers also face serious social and economic consequences in employing mental health patients and in paying them fairly. The mental health system is so pervasive it is impossible for mental health patients to hide their pay or work in secret. They can't keep a job because there is an unspoken blacklist of mental health patients by nearly all businesses in society today. 

In the end, the consequences for a mental health conviction today are much more severe than in Victorian times. If I were captured by mental health people today the torture would be much worse.    

D. Moral Standards

Today we have the morality of two dogs in a park (ha, ha, ha). We are more lenient towards homosexuality and sexual deviants than possibly ever before. Whether we are denying God's commandments and just righting it on our own without His blessing is a question to be considered.  

I say we will never be able to reach Victorian heights until we first bow to God and acknowledge that his commandments on sexuality are just. The faith of the moral today however, may be as good or better than in Victorian times. So maybe we will be able to pull a rabbit out of the hat and right it on Victorian levels after all. 

E. The Queen

It would be hard to overlook the fact that the Victorian era was led by a woman in power. Queen Victoria had an innate ability to govern and by her nature was less corruptible and did many things for the common good. 

Today we also have a very active and powerful day. I think it may even be stronger and more organized than the day in Victorian era England. We need this day to be strong today as secret combinations are yet coming on the land and coming from the East. 

If the stalwart people and day in the East will "flee" to the West I think damage from these secret combinations can be minimized. And no, I am not talking about running or moving locations. Power with the day is concentrated in the West so East people, we love you and please try and believe we won't forget you and got your G. 

I think there is still an intense struggle to be had with it so both East and West need to work together to put it to silence. As in the Victorian era, we also need to sound the rallying call, "Long Live the Queen!"

Conclusion

The Victorian era was a "Golden Era" and ought to be a standard we use to judge our era by today. While our time is admittedly different than the Victorian, it also has many commonalities. By learning from this past great era I think we can put together a winning formula and plan for sustained peace and prosperity in the future. I believe we are on pace to match or even supersede the greatness of the Victorian era now. We simply need to keep improving and have faith that we can respond effectively to all the challenges and opportunities our future holds. Just as the Victorians believed in their day, the future today really is as bright as our faith. 

Alabama

                We all have skills, I guess. -- Simone Biles

One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry. -- Oscar Wilde

          The best revenge is massive success. -- Frank Sinatra

This post is to all you man-loving bros out there who read this blog. I got no beef with you but just want to inform you that it really, really pays to work for women these days. Are you aware of what benefits you can get from women and the solstice? Here's a number to claim yours! Solstice Help Chat. If you serve more, I swear more will pay you back ten fold. The time is now for men to decide whether they will get with the program or not.  

Many of you guys are missing out in trying to go it alone; don't you know women control everything? You can't hardly sleep these days without some kind of insurance with women in place. Women control the banks and money; what will you do, try and bury your money? If you want to do or find anything now days you have to do it with the woman-controlled internet. And you know women handle the food....... 

You can say I am sheltered and that I don't know what rough is. You can say I'm doing the day wrong. You can say I fell on my face in getting taken into the mental hospital-- i.e. that that whole spiel was all my fault. You can say I don't want to work. 

You could be right on some of those things but the truth is I'm really a pretty normal right-thinking guy like you. I'm just trying to do what's reasonable and practical without any ego trip or fanfare. I know my circumstances well and also don't want to get myself killed by trying to exceed anything. 

My story: I ended up in the mental hospital for a slew of reasons but mostly due to the following: an excessively bad family situation, a false economy, a recession, a bloated mental health system, inflated educational expenses and interest rates, people stealing from me, betrayal by many of my family and acquaintances, religious dogma I had embraced, some intense hatred and social prejudice towards grad students and lawyers, bad parenting and instruction throughout life, cyber bullying, heavy spying, a social funnel, psychological profiling, some mania in society, and a sinister secret combination that is mostly dead now but was trying to undermine us all. 

In other words, what happened to me was a once in a life time perfect storm. I think it could happen to anyone. And it IS happening now to many people so don't feel so smug and secure.

I had to work my way through college and graduated from undergraduate studies debt free. I worked as a teacher, in construction, in manufacturing, property maintenance, custodial, and in the law. I'm the only law student I know of who turned down summer legal internship opportunities to work at a manual labor brick laying job in construction (which by the way, paid more money ha, ha, ha). 

I only took out student loans for law school, which was a very costly mistake. During the recession that hit just as I graduated there were hardly any legal jobs available and the ones that were were horrible --or even worse, not for real. I defaulted on my law loan payments during this time but would have paid them down if I would have been allowed to. I merely went delinquent on one student loan repayment and they took me into the mental hospital.

Looking back, it was all planned out, my family and the sky were blocking my emails to other employers, and there was no work or opportunity anyways. I probably wouldn't have been able to find work in the law with anyone other than with my crummy uncle who was a lawyer and was partially employing me, but was seriously trying to OWN me. After about a year, my uncle and I had a falling out and I couldn't find any other legal or other type work afterwards.

Well, that's enough info about me. I don't mean to tell you my whole life story but basically, all I'm saying is some of you bros really need to try not to hate me. Believe me, there's nothing to be jealous of. I didn't seek out any notoriety I have now. I don't have any vain ambitions to conquer the world. I also don't want to get rich R-ing. I just want to be free from all these mental health constraints and live out my life like a normal person. People in the world judging me for getting an education should take a step back and really try and understand is all I'm saying. Check out this song by The Tutors.  

Care is "the climb" and where it's at nowadays. And for both yours and my sake, care really needs to be done. Here is a helpful quiz and information to determine where you stand on therapy. Therapy Quiz. Remember these people say they are just trying to help.

I have mobility problems. I can't keep tags off me very long. Mental health people gave me brain surgery and unless I want to go through an extensive lobotomy and lose half my brain, I'll probably always be tagged in my brain. I can shut me down with heat waves and electrodes whenever my brain activity peaks. It is hard to do anything in secret because of this. 

I am too smart. I have no privacy. Everyone's trying to shoot my house and I can't go anywhere safely without a lot of help with me. I'm really not built for and able to do secret air jobs myself right now. It is not my forte but I respect and appreciate those who do it.

If you risk your life for the day or a good cause you should be rewarded. The day I know is May Day and will turn any well-deserving guy. If you don't know what May Day is read about May Day celebrations here. Some of you guys ought to get with these May Day and hit them up sometime is all I'm saying. The girls I know have helped me through thick and thin and are rock solid warriors and beauties. They are some very good ones to serve and about as powerful as you are going to find. They deserve your loyalty and won't let you down.  

I don't believe in conventional marriage traditions. I think conventional marriage is false security, mental stagnation, and a crutch I don't need. I do believe every way should get their turn though. There are enough women to go around; we don't need to fight over them. You know it says in the scriptures, even Abraham paid tithes to Melchizedick. (ha, ha, ha)

So anyways guys, don't hate, I'm not trying to horde all the women in the world. The women also don't love me any more than they love you guys. I don't have any strings attached to these May Day women. I just want them to have ample hands and to be protected and safe. 

Have you all read this book, cause I have: The Testosterone Advantage: A Complete Guide to Male Hormonal Balance and Endocrine Health? Believe me, I know it's tough sleeping with all the testosterone that builds up, (I only wish I wasn't old now and had more left!). Maybe some of you will buy this book and put it on your wall! (ha, ha, ha)

I would do more of the physical work if I had the time, freedom and opportunity to. Right now I am forced into more of a delegating, organizational, leadership type role though. I am dealing with mass problems, both national and international. I work all day and still do not get to the bottom of all the people trying to attack me. Being prepared and developing my BU is therefore a necessity for me and my biggest calling in life. As things escalate and get bigger and bigger, BU is going to be my best defense. 

So anyways, this is the song I think I'm singing today. Sweet Home Alabama. I'm Lynyrd Skynyrd, you guys are Muscle Shoals. Our May Day is Sweet Home Alabama. 

Well, thanks for choosing to roll with me. I'll try not to let you down. Read this information if you have any doubts. Hot Issue. Remember it has all been planned out long ahead of time.

I just have to continue to stay ahead of it, bring my A game everyday, make you guys safe through BU, and keep this huge operation and machine rolling forward. I'll do my best to lessen the blank roll printing if you will do your homework and read this material on arbitrage futures I learned in college. Futures Arbitrage Contracts. 

Also, here is a news headline and youtube link you might like. Fat Tuesday  Parties don't last forever so again, I just want you to know I appreciate the support you guys have given me and continue to offer. We really do have some great women on our side helping us. Let's do what we can to keep these girls safe. 

Food

Fasting is a natural method of healing. When animals or savages are sick, they fast.-- Paramahansa Yogananda

Ancient Wisdom: Remember not to bite off more than you can chew. 

Wise Saying:  You can't con an honest man. 

Okay, I will throw this tidbit out about food for the above-mentioned people who fast--who won't be honest with themselves or God, and therefore starve themselves, foolishly thinking they can go in through the back AI door. The tidbit about food is this-- it's really, really, really, good or really, really, really bad right now. 

If you're not looking with regard to food right now you are absolutely killing yourself and missing out on valuable life-saving nutrition. The good food has never been better than it is today. They have discovered amazing ingredients from around the world and are putting them in the good foods now. 

Food science, which can be both good and bad, is at an all-time high. A few months ago I wasn't looking and inadvertently ate some pasta noodles that had been switched out by sneaky people entering my house. I ate a whole pot of the noodles-- and man, I seriously thought I was going to die afterward! My mind couldn't focus, my breath was short, my allergies were acting up, my pee stung, my arteries were probably clogging and who knows what else it did to my eyes, mind, hair, and libido. I hadn't had any other problems with food previous to this and therefore didn't know just how bad it was. 

If any of you suffer regularly from problems similar to this, I feel for you. Know that you do not have to suffer though. You can always raise your own animals, fruits, and vegetables ( ha, ha, ha). No, here's an idea, try and make a good friend for once-- there may be temporary ways of coping until you can get to looking for yourself.  

There is a saying that I mentioned above that says, "You can't con an honest man."  If you rely on laxatives and enemas to get you through you know what it means to be conned. But if we were honest with ourselves and God would we have these problems? There is plenty of good food in the stores today. Look and live.

I know that some of you are in poor health and that most people have ruled you out as hopeless, Type II diabetes and cancer, but know there is still a way to repent of your sloth and excess. The answer to your food problems is God and in changing the very way you think about him. Be honest with yourself and Him and leave the ranks of the guessing, fasting, starving masses and join the certain. It's only going to get worse for you if you don't.

Well, I feel so blessed to live in this era of history. Thanks to the food gods and food industry workers the health for ALL people is improving! The food service people have worked hard to make food accessible and been so true throughout my whole mental health ordeal. Food is core and the food card really has done wonders for me in bringing people around! Thank these people so much.

Ya, I'm only 44!

Just realized something interesting today. I realized my birthday was not when my evil mother said it was. In fact, I was born in Washington State, not Utah. I was also born outside of a hospital and over two years later than my mother said I was born.  

I'm also a little sad though knowing that my mother placed me in elementary and high school classes with kids two years older than me. Physically speaking, being two years behind was a huge disadvantage for me in sports. I bet I would have played basketball at a bigger college if I had just had two more years in high school.

This never crossed my mind until just now. My birth certificate said I was older and I happened to be taller than most of the kids older than me anyway.  My mother knew how much I loved sports, why would she do this to me? This again proves once and for all that my parents were out to get me when I was younger and were undermining my potential from the very beginning. Academically/mentally this may have been a good thing for me though. 

Now I know why so many secret telephone agents over the years would ask me if I knew when my birthday was! This is crazy, I started driving when I was a reckless thirteen-and-a-half years old. (ha, ha, ha) I moved away from home when I was fourteen. And my mother just had to be sinister about my birthday-- she really made July 8th a curse for me in life! 

 

Defying the Odds

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go."  -- Oscar Wilde

Hi there, here are a couple jokes about psychologists that I read recently: 1) Freud: if it's not one thing, it's your mother. 2) I saw a psychologist who used to be a baker. He really knows how to analyze the cake. 3) Two psychologists pass each other in the hallway. One says, 'Hi!' The other thinks, 'I wonder what he actually meant by that.' (ha, ha, ha)

On a different note, I read something intriguing from the World Health Organization (WHO) concerning mental health patients worldwide. The WHO says, 67.3% of deaths among people with mental disorders were due to natural causes, 17.5% to unnatural causes, and 15.2% to other or unknown causes. The median years of potential life loss was 10 years. WHO also says 14.3% of deaths worldwide, or approximately 8 million deaths each year are attributable to mental disorders. 

In 1937 psychiatric inpatients in New York had a mortality rate 6 times greater than that of the general population of New York. Only a few years ago the WHO stated that mortality rates for psychiatric inpatients in the U.S. were 3 times that of the general population.  

Okay, so I am not going to challenge any of these WHO statistics and think they may all very well be correct. What I will challenge though is their applicability to me. As I have said many times before on here, and will repeat again, -- I'm not and never will be a statistic. Anyone who tries to predict, define, or stereotype me will be sadly disappointed. I think I am an exception to these mortality rates for the following reasons:

First and foremost, the world over the last 30 years has changed dramatically. With technological advances, a huge righting in society, and general global warming, we truly live in unprecedented times. The world has changed so much that past mental health statistics will not be a good predictor of future outcomes. 

In 1937 psychiatric inpatients had a mortality rate 6 times higher. Only a few years ago, that mortality rate had significantly dropped to only 3 times higher. I bet that rate is 2 times higher today. Mental health now supposedly affects 1 in 14 people. It has become so mainstream that my chances are greatly improved through the herd immunity effect. ( ha, ha, ha)

Another disparity I see in those statistics is the locations and times used. I do not live in New York State and this, thank God, is not pre-World War II, 1937. Mental health treatment varies widely between states and though Utah is one of the worst states in the nation to be slammed with a mental health commitment, it is not as bad as some eastern U.S. states or countries in Europe for example. 

When I was incarcerated in the mental health ward I could hardly relate with any of the patients there. The reason I think, is that many of those patients were in fact chronically ill, depressive, crazy, and psychotic. I am not being rude or vain in saying this-- Ra really is ill and is going to die much, much faster than me. These mortality statistics mostly apply to the bad mental health patients, not the good.

Still, I am a big target now and do have a ton of sick mental health freaks in society trying to shoot my house. But those are all being handled so, so, so very well by my friends. Throughout October 2023, I know I had about 55 people try and shoot my house as a kind of Halloween surprise. That wasn't the most I've had in a single month thus far, (you'd be blown out of the water if I told you just how many), but I must say, everything was handled perfectly those months and I was as safe and well as ever. 

Safety is my middle name now and I think I am very well prepared for it. Traveling is a risk everyone takes into their own hands and I think the roads are very perilous nowadays. I try to travel as little as possible. My friends have helped me find good housing and a very, very, very defensive place to live, so I think my chances of survival are greatly improved. 

Good publicity also plays a role. I don't search for things written about me online, but know that things have been written. Please thank those who have written; they don't know how meaningful their writing is. I feel like W.C. Fields when he wrote, "I drink therefore I am." 

As I just kind of mentioned, I am probably the last guy in the world who wants publicity-- but if birth or circumstances have thrust it upon me or if it works in my favor to write about me, my situation, or just mental health generally, then I guess I am all for it. I give up trying to get what I want in life now. My life is for everyone and whatever is best for the kids and society is what I think I want now. Do tell people to be judicious and only write what is necessary. I would like to be anonymous as long as possible. Thus far my name, profile, and address have been handled very, very, very well. 

The general G is a major reason why I'm doing so well and why I think I'll survive. Many of the people who want to kill me don't have access to my location, a live car, or even live hands anymore. Some do though. The big thing they can try to do to me is mob me, but we have things protecting from that. So D is upon every high tower and every fenced wall in the land now. Thus far my friends and I have defied all the odds here and every sword that has been raised against us has been struck down.

Lastly, and probably the biggest reason I think I'm doing so well is my cows. (ha, ha, ha) Yeah, my cows have really been keeping me safe all these years.  Here is a beautiful poem from Robert William Service entitled "Cow." (ha, ha, ha) 

I love to watch my seven cows

In meads of buttercups abrowse,

With guilded knees;

But even more I love to see

Them chew the cud so tranquilly

In twilight ease. 

Because of my mental health record and the stigma associated with it, I sometimes have a hard time convincing people that I'm sane. When I do convince them it is an accomplishment but I still have a very difficult time getting them to believe I can survive against all the odds. They don't seem to realize I have a whole day assisting me. They don't seem to believe in technology and all the spiritual intangibles that I understand. The circumstances look too bleak to them and they don't believe any one person can go against the current government establishment like we have been doing for nearly twelve years now. These people are looking at things without the lens of faith and from a historical perspective though. 

And some of these people don't even know what freedom is or at least want it that bad. I'm sorry, I just can't settle for any situation other than freedom. If my family, Ra, and the mental health system now stand in my way of technological freedom, mobility, right to work, mingle, marry, and live safely in this life, I suppose I'll agree with what Robert Frost meant when he said, "The best way out is always through."

So just so people remember I told them this beforehand, God has told me I am going to survive this mess and outlive all the government harassers, Ra, my family, I-Dent, and my mortal enemies. Good is going to return and prevail in our society.

We have done much these past twelve years to show all the nay-sayers and doubters. But I am tired of trying to prove many of these blind, ignorant people wrong. I know I will go through all these problems in time but I can honestly say now I would like out of this "I US-frame" and mental health "commitment" box. It is on me like flies on shit.

I am so independent and set in my ways and attacked by so many bad people, that I wonder if I will ever be able to negotiate a loving, live-in, relationship with anyone. I must say, I have held out a long time for the monogamous ideal but in the end, it could be too much stress to put on any one woman. For the last few years the love police have ruled and love has been stifled. Yeah, I feel like a defacto lay ban has been placed on me due to my family and try as I might, I have been put on the women's most dangerous and untouchable list! (ha, ha, ha).

But get this, due to the help of some great men and women, my Dad, Mother and three brothers have all recently fallen! Now with my sisters gone and many of my evil relatives, I am just about free! 

I can't express how grateful I am to the men and women who organized these events. They have answered my prayers and done what I just couldn't figure out how to safely do myself. I will forever remember this special day. It is like a hundred pound weight I had been walking around with, got taken from my shoulders. Read my next post to see how it all went down. It is a crazy story.

So given these recent events and a few of my constraints, what is the best way to proceed now? I am just thinking I need to hold onto all the ground I have gained or can gain now, but not spread myself so thin that I do not develop any one relationship well. I am going to build and prepare things here where I live now and not wait for marriage or a near-impossible escape to bail me out.  

I am also going to work for technological freedom from the tags, threads and I-Dent. I have kinda been housebound for a long time now, so just going someplace and talking to someone in person would be a huge accomplishment for me. (ha, ha, ha)  I may need to work harder, exercise harder, juggle my finances better, break the ice, do the tags, secretly arrange things, swat the flies, have the stars align just right, buy some space, look and pray for my dear life when I shoot the gap, and lastly, all but cause a small mountain to fall to make it happen,-- but I think it is still possible. 

It has to be possible. Society is helping me tremendously now. They want me to be victorious. People are sacrificing to see it happen. It is going to happen!

God has brought me through a bad family situation, poverty, homelessness, problems with the law, mental hospitals, fiery furnaces, and needles, I think he will bring me through the isolation, the takers, the mobs, and the rest of it too. There are just things that I know and feel that maybe only I know, that I can't fully explain. I feel confident and have an abiding feeling that it's not my time to go now and that things are going to work out for me in the future. 

Please know there are many other reasons why I am going to be an exception to the mental health mortality statistics in the future, but this explanation will just have to suffice for now.  

The poet Robert Frost once wrote, "In three words I can sum up everything I have learned about life: It goes on." Today I just want to thank all life and my friends everywhere for "going on" for me. Many of you friends I haven't personally met yet but am so grateful you have responded. I am often warned by skeptics that the love in society will eventually run out, that I will get old or less relevant, or that my friends will get completely and utterly exhausted somehow. But I don't see that happening right now. In contrast, The Zephyr Song by The Red Hot Chili Peppers explains exactly how things are going. 

People are living so much more morally now, are getting better, and are very conscious of the problems in the world today. There are also so many more of us than the opposition. Mahatma Gandhi once said, "You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty."

Here is a quote by actor Robert De Niro that I like. "It's important to listen to everyone because many people, you can get their input, but then finally, you have to make your own decision about what you're going to do. And that's what you feel, and that's the most important thing, I think-- the most important thing because that's where the uniqueness comes in because it's you, you've done it, it's your thing. It's not anybody else's. It's your choice." 

Alexandra Morton explains an important point in her book "Listening to Whales: What the Orcas Have Taught Us." She says, "Chronicling the passage of whales has led me to an understanding that we as a species, now sand at a crossroads. We can face the possibility of our own extinction and work to avert it, or we can flow the more traditional path of earth's organisms and fall blindly over the edge. If there's one trait that characterised human beings, it's the will to survive. This, I believe, will motivate us to work with the natural world rather than opposite it, which is all we need to do to give the children of earth--of all species-- the opportunity to thrive."

No matter our wealth, education, or standing in society, every one of us has the power to shape our future today. We can speak up and change public opinions. We can invent better ways of doing things. We can do things that make this world a safer, more habitable, and peaceful place. I just wish more people could see that we are building a whole new world here now. 

Yeah, today may be an enlightened time in history similar to just before the American Revolution in America when the founding fathers were getting together and discussing how to deal with the Tories and build and govern a new society-- separate, different, and freer than any society that existed then. I think we need to realize today that things don't have to be the way they were. Society can and is evolving. We can build smarter and fairer than ever before while still respecting and working with the powers that be. Here is a song by Eddie Vedder called "Society that mentions some important points.   

I know we can and will eradicate all the evil in our society in preparation for Christ's second coming and the millennium. Yeah, I think He will come when everything is prepared and ready, and we have rolled out the red carpet and are waiting to usher Him in to His throne. The scriptures say, "He cometh to declare glad tidings of salvation unto His people" (Alma 39:15) --and He is definitely doing that now. I know no man knoweth the hour of His coming but I am just looking at things and wondering what more needs to occur or could be done. Maybe we are getting close to His coming now.  

Well, it's exciting to see what's happening today and I really can't wait to see it all go down. With technology and the order that's in place, we definitely have the means to right things. We just have to do our small part. Let's keep things up and going, I think we're more than halfway to peace now! Please send my regards to all of you and wish everyone a Happy New Year this year. 2024 is going to be the best year ever!

Stay Thirsty

   Be faithful to that which exists within yourself. -- Andre Gide

We ought to have the building up of Zion as our greatest object         --  Joseph Smith  

Been talking to my friend Cassi lately about her childhood in a white Mormon family in San Francisco Bay area. She has some horrible abuse stories to tell about her childhood there. I swear, I don't know how some people recover from abuse like what she mentioned to me and move on with their lives. When children are trafficked like she was, I don't know how they forgive and better yet, get even, with so many perpetrators. 

On average, abuse is being handled better today than in the 80s and 90s-- but the problem is still very common and the laborers are few. I have been searching for good organizations to donate money and time to in this area. I have found that nonprofit organizations in this field are not all the same and some are bad and further traps for the unsuspecting. But here is a really good one that I found:

The organization is called Safe & Sound, located in San Francisco, CA.  Their website says they are taking a comprehensive approach toward alleviating child abuse by "building communities that are responsive to the needs of children and families..... because together we can create a future free from childhood trauma where all children are safe, supported and loved." I think this organization is one of the leading organizations in the Bay Area as well as the country. Here is how I rate them:

Effort Level --9 out of 10, with 10 being the best

Use of Funds --9 out of 10, with 10 being the best

Leadership in the Field-- 9 out of 10, with 10 being the best

Difficulty/Weight of Problems Being Addressed in their Region-- 9 out of 10, with 10 being the most difficult

Comprehensive Reach in their Area-- 7 out of 10, with ten being the best

As you can see, I think Safe & Sound is doing an excellent job. The only negative I can find is their reach--they don't have the resources and manpower to reach all of the families and children that are in need in northern California and the Bay Area. I'm sure Safe & Sound will find a way to address the needs of these kids eventually, but too many reported and unreported cases are falling through the cracks now and we need to help. 

Technology and an active day are making the world a much safer place today. It would be easy to let up now, think all is well, and say that someone else will address these problems eventually. I think what we need to remember is the simple and profound advice of the iconic Dos Equis beer commercial man of the 2000s. (ha, ha, ha)  He would always say, "Stay thirsty my friends." (And if you haven't watched these commercials look them up on this YouTube link, they are hilarious.)

So anyway, I think we can all do a little better if we try. Perfection is the goal and we can reach it. Hope you all are well, peace out and stay thirsty my friends.