Apologies

"In life it is not finding happiness that is hard, it is letting go of unhappiness that is hard to do." -- My 6th grade teacher, Mr. Smith 

I have to send out an apology for an earlier post about the Bridge Team and Asians. I don't know what got into me the day I was writing that; I guess I was feeling critical and contentious but I shouldn't have. As far as Asians go, the truth is, they are my friends. I am only being critical of myself when I criticize them. My first real job was with Asians, my first girlfriend in high school was an Asian and I have met many great Asian people. 

When I was living here with my brother Derek he would always intentionally leave a pot of putrefying rice in the rice cooker. I would smell it and have to clean it out all the time. I guess the perspective he was trying to give me with the putrefying rice wore on me some. Like him, I have seen some of the rotten rice around in parts of Los Angeles and other places. But unlike my brother, I think those were isolated instances and that that was definitely not the norm. 

Most Asians are good and they are a very numerous body of people on earth right now. Americans are somewhat degenerate and I would probably have few friends if it wasn't for Asians. Yeah, like me, they could be a little leaner and meaner, but overall, I think many Asians have their priorities right and are the salt of the earth. 

As I said, my first girlfriend was an Asian. Her family was in the Asian mafia and she would always have me drop her off at her friend's house so her Dad wouldn't see that she was dating a white guy and put a hit on me. (ha, ha, ha) She really wasn't all that bad for being in the mafia. I think that says something about Asians. Who knows, in the future maybe all Asians will join the mafia. Then we will have a force to be reckoned with. (ha, ha, ha)

I was also critical of the Bridge Team. Get this, God just told me not to be critical of them, so I guess they are alright for now, really. I don't like having to meet with a psychiatrist every month but that hasn't hurt me too much.....yet. If he thinks I am important and interesting enough to chat with every month I guess I should suffer his visits. And maybe I am crazy after all. I will try and see things from his perspective a little more.

So I guess what I'm saying is things are going just as they're supposed to and it does me no good to kick against the pricks. I am in the pit I'm in for a reason and only need to work on myself right now. And maybe I'm not in a pit after all. I may just need to change my perspective on things. Yeah, that is a real mind-tripper there. Talk to ya later. Bye now.

Acknowledgements

              Sitting is the new smoking.-- Anonymous

A problem I have now is my family and the sky block communications from friends and keep me in the dark about many things. I don't watch TV and I only just recently started getting media on my phone. I have kind of been in my own isolated and somewhat depressed world for a long time now, but I really must say, I could have tried harder.  

Yeah, a while back all I wanted to do was eat and sleep away my problems. That was not the answer though and I am repenting of that now. My body got weak from oversleeping and not exercising enough and when I did go to the gym, I was passing out from WAN. So I slept some more.....

Ahh, but that's no excuse, everything is good now and I am getting in shape here at home. The WAN is still playing with me here but what can you do? Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right?  I'd rather be harassed than be coddled. I'd rather be twice as strong from my trials than to be mediocre and weak. Yeah, a while back I was kind of feeling like the card playing cowboy in this Back to the Future movie clip (ha, ha, ha) but have now changed my mind on that. Running is important and I am just going to have to bet the day will not do me wrong if I run. Oh, but Sly will though......i.e. check out this song by Mike Snow Animal. Sometimes you gotta sing this song to the day too. Beast of Burden

So anyways, I guess I've just been thinking lately that I should be a little more grateful that despite my sleeping through my problems somewhat instead of attacking them, I was still able to get through things all right. I must say, I was really, really depressed for a long, long time a while back. 

A girl I know shared a quote that I like a lot. She said, "If you are going through hell keep on going." I have thought about that quote a lot and all I can say is that consistently reading the scriptures during my depression helped me keep on going. For the longest time reading the scriptures was my sole way of updating myself- and it worked well. Reading the scriptures always gave me hope and the feeling that I could go through all the problems I was facing no matter how large, beyond my control, or seemingly intractable they were. The scriptures gave me the faith that I was an exception to the rule and not going to be a victim to circumstances. 

I can't fully explain how important the scriptures are to me, but I want people to know they can become a urim and thummin in your life. A urim and thummin was an instrument prepared by God to assist man in receiving revelation. 

Changing topics now, I have complained on here about my family but I want to refrain from doing that for the time being. I am very happy with my family now and don't want to do wickedly is what I'm saying. 

I think I need to thank and ac knowledge a lot more people too. I am realizing I became an alcoholic and drank a lot of wine during my depression and I must say, that was just wrong of me. 

Anyways, try and bear with me as I retrace my steps a little and figure things out going forward. I do feel much more optimistic now than I did years ago. I also feel like I am getting to the heart of my problems. I just want 'my love' to know I want to see her and be with her bad. As things get darker they are also going to get brighter and brighter until the perfect day. We can be taken and love will always find a way. Thanks for reading and God bless and guide you into all truth.    

Kip

Today I just want to clarify what I said earlier about being vindicated. Don't nobody take that too seriously. I think I have mostly gotten what I deserve in life. Some things may seem harsh or unfair but I have my faults and/or it was wisdom in God- and you can't change that. 

What I meant generally about vindication is that I think the yeast is going to continue to rise and leaven the whole lump. I will be vindicated that way. But of course, it's all planned out, I have to be par, and there will be no financial surprises. (AAHHHH, please tell me, will I ever get ahead in life!) 

No, seriously, my friends really don't need to do or speak anything else; my financial circumstances are widely known and you have said enough. Just let things appreciate. Thank you. 

I have been guilty of being stewpid in the past and that got me nowhere. I am not going to let revenge consume me or follow after some vain ambition anymore. I spoke of Hitler and all I was saying about him is I don't think he is going to last too much longer. There may be an opportunity for wealth, and kingdoms in the future, but I am not really interested in that. 

You can just call me Kip from now on after the older brother of Napoleon in the movie Napoleon Dynamite. Yeah, like Kip I am going to "choose love" and devote my time and energy to finally meeting my "soul mate" Lafawnda. (ha, ha, ha)  You gotta read quotes from Kip in that movie, they are hilarious. Yep, I think I am all set to meet Lafawnda now, I got the chains and dew rag to boot. (ha, ha, ha ) I gotta watch that movie again. I'm almost 100% positive (ha, ha, ha). I'm studying to be a cage fighter. (ha, ha, ha)